"Just shoot me now!"

Migraine Awareness Month Blogging Challenge #3: "Just shoot me now!"

What's your worst Migraine trigger? Can you avoid it? How do you handle it?

This is actually an ironic title, because I can't even count how many times I have begged my husband to shoot me when I have been in the midst of a migraine.  Not surprisingly, he never has. He has told me how distressing it is, though, to hear me utter those words.

My worst migraine trigger...it's actually impossible to narrow it down to one, because my triggers aren't necessarily consistent in their severity.  So I finally focused on four, which fall into two categories: environmental triggers and food additives.

Environmental triggers:  for me the two worst environmental triggers are strobing/flashing lights and overwhelming scents.  You know how fluorescent lights start to flicker just before they stop working?  That is torturous for me.  I cannot be in a room where that is happening.  Fluorescent lights in general aren't helpful, but as soon as the flickering starts, it is over.  Overwhelming scents can be cleaning products, air fresheners, and my favorite--perfumes.  Did you ever notice that department stores tend to put their fragrance counters right at the mall entrance?  I either have to enter from the parking lot, or skirt as far along the edge of the store as I can, making my own aisle through displays and holding my breath until I am safely away from the minefield of migraine inducing scents that is the fragrance department.

Food additives:  MSG and aspartame (AKA Nutrasweet) are the biggest culprits.  My family has learned to read the label of everything we buy.  Soup, yogurt, gravy, and anything fat-free or sugar free are the biggest culprits. This does not make it easy for someone trying to follow a weight loss program who is always on the go!  We have managed to keep it under control in our house, my mother's and my in-laws, but visiting or eating out is always a challenge.  Often friends discard packaging and can't tell me what is in the food they are serving me.  Waiters and waitresses give me a blank stare when I try to explain that I have food sensitivities and I need to know what type of sweetener is used in their tea or dessert.  It's usually just easier to avoid those types of foods and eat something fresh with little sauce or seasoning.  Not much fun, but better than a migraine!

A Delicate Balance

It is easy to say that I refuse to allow migraines to control my life...easy to say, hard to do.  Sometimes it is a delicate balance between the pain and my medication--how bad will it get, how much pain can I stand,when should I take the medication which will knock me out.  Sometimes I can gauge it, often times I guess wrong and by the time I take my medication it is too late.

So, when I met with my neurologist this time, I spoke to him about going back on Topamax--or "Dopamax" as many of us call it.  When I was on it before, I went I had memory and processing problems.  As a sign language interpreter, the processing problems were the worst for me.  I would work with Deaf people that I had know for years, but I couldn't understand them.  I know the memory problems were hard on my family.  I would repeat myself to my husband several times.  Some days I would ask him the same question over and over again, because I didn't remember asking him.  For him, it was like living with someone with early stage Alzheimer's--only I was in my thirties.  It was frustrating for both of us.

It wasn't an easy decision to go back on the Topamax.  My doctor decided to keep me on a low dose of it, to increase my dosage of Clonazepam and decrease my Nortriptyline dosage.  Including my vitamin supplements, I am taking 8 pills before bed at night.


I have been tracking my migraines (yes, there's an app for that!) and have found that they have decreased since adding Topamax back into my regimen.  I have asked my family and coworkers to watch for memory issues, and I am happy to report that so far no one has noticed a significant problem.


It is still a delicate balance between medication and control over my life.  I hate taking so many pills, but I know that without them I wouldn't be able to function.  However, I have to monitor to ensure that my medications don't impede my ability to function, as well.