"Just shoot me now!"

Migraine Awareness Month Blogging Challenge #3: "Just shoot me now!"

What's your worst Migraine trigger? Can you avoid it? How do you handle it?

This is actually an ironic title, because I can't even count how many times I have begged my husband to shoot me when I have been in the midst of a migraine.  Not surprisingly, he never has. He has told me how distressing it is, though, to hear me utter those words.

My worst migraine trigger...it's actually impossible to narrow it down to one, because my triggers aren't necessarily consistent in their severity.  So I finally focused on four, which fall into two categories: environmental triggers and food additives.

Environmental triggers:  for me the two worst environmental triggers are strobing/flashing lights and overwhelming scents.  You know how fluorescent lights start to flicker just before they stop working?  That is torturous for me.  I cannot be in a room where that is happening.  Fluorescent lights in general aren't helpful, but as soon as the flickering starts, it is over.  Overwhelming scents can be cleaning products, air fresheners, and my favorite--perfumes.  Did you ever notice that department stores tend to put their fragrance counters right at the mall entrance?  I either have to enter from the parking lot, or skirt as far along the edge of the store as I can, making my own aisle through displays and holding my breath until I am safely away from the minefield of migraine inducing scents that is the fragrance department.

Food additives:  MSG and aspartame (AKA Nutrasweet) are the biggest culprits.  My family has learned to read the label of everything we buy.  Soup, yogurt, gravy, and anything fat-free or sugar free are the biggest culprits. This does not make it easy for someone trying to follow a weight loss program who is always on the go!  We have managed to keep it under control in our house, my mother's and my in-laws, but visiting or eating out is always a challenge.  Often friends discard packaging and can't tell me what is in the food they are serving me.  Waiters and waitresses give me a blank stare when I try to explain that I have food sensitivities and I need to know what type of sweetener is used in their tea or dessert.  It's usually just easier to avoid those types of foods and eat something fresh with little sauce or seasoning.  Not much fun, but better than a migraine!

Migraine Awareness Month Blogging Challenge #2

Migraine Awareness Month #2:  Tea for Two. If you could invite someone (any living person) to your home for tea for the purpose of explaining Migraine disease to them so they would truly understand it, who would it be and why? 

This is an interesting question.  I don't know for sure who I would pick.  I guess that I can't name a specific person...I would like to sit down with a family member of a person who has recently been diagnosed with chronic migraines--a family member who isn't as understanding as my family is.  I would like to be able to educate that person about what life is like for a migraineur...and to help him/her understand how different we wish life could be.  Then I would leave and let my husband speak with that migraineur's family member so that he can give him/her the perspective of a family member who has adjusted to living with a migraineur.  Perhaps my supportive husband could give that family member hints to help make that family's life a little easier.  Not that it is ever easy, but Wayne does what he can to make it bearable.

June is Migraine Awareness Month

As part of Migraine Awareness Month, there is a blogging challenge, with prompts for various blogs.  Here is prompt #1:

Migraine Awareness Month #1: Your First for the First. Share the story of your first Migraine, what it was like, if you knew what it was, what you did, how you felt. 

Looking back, I believe I had my first migraine at the age of 15.  I was in biology class, and I was taking an exam.  As I looked at the test, it appeared as if the words were being typed onto the paper as I watched.  I didn't realize at the time that I had blind spots.  Soon after, I was stricken with severe nausea, and went to the nurse.  I began vomiting violently, and my mother was called. I recall that the nurses were speaking, and I couldn't understand what they were saying.  I assumed that I had the flu, and that I was suffering from a fever, which caused me to be confused.  The pain came soon after.  My mother had to pull the car over several times on our way home so that I could get sick.

I didn't know it was a migraine.  I never told anyone about the visual disturbances or the confusion--I was afraid someone would think I was crazy.  It wasn't until at least 10 years later that I was diagnosed with migraines that I realized what had happened that day.  It is possible that there were earlier migraines, but that is the first one that I know for sure.

A Delicate Balance

It is easy to say that I refuse to allow migraines to control my life...easy to say, hard to do.  Sometimes it is a delicate balance between the pain and my medication--how bad will it get, how much pain can I stand,when should I take the medication which will knock me out.  Sometimes I can gauge it, often times I guess wrong and by the time I take my medication it is too late.

So, when I met with my neurologist this time, I spoke to him about going back on Topamax--or "Dopamax" as many of us call it.  When I was on it before, I went I had memory and processing problems.  As a sign language interpreter, the processing problems were the worst for me.  I would work with Deaf people that I had know for years, but I couldn't understand them.  I know the memory problems were hard on my family.  I would repeat myself to my husband several times.  Some days I would ask him the same question over and over again, because I didn't remember asking him.  For him, it was like living with someone with early stage Alzheimer's--only I was in my thirties.  It was frustrating for both of us.

It wasn't an easy decision to go back on the Topamax.  My doctor decided to keep me on a low dose of it, to increase my dosage of Clonazepam and decrease my Nortriptyline dosage.  Including my vitamin supplements, I am taking 8 pills before bed at night.


I have been tracking my migraines (yes, there's an app for that!) and have found that they have decreased since adding Topamax back into my regimen.  I have asked my family and coworkers to watch for memory issues, and I am happy to report that so far no one has noticed a significant problem.


It is still a delicate balance between medication and control over my life.  I hate taking so many pills, but I know that without them I wouldn't be able to function.  However, I have to monitor to ensure that my medications don't impede my ability to function, as well.

"I took an Excedrin and it went away."

I am soooooooooooo tired of people who say that they had a migraine, but that taking an Excedrin, Tylenol, Advil, whatever, made it go away.  Have these people ever really had a migraine?  Have they laid on the bathroom floor, their head pressed against the cool tiles, lights off and waiting for the next round of dry heaves because there is nothing left in their stomach to vomit up?  Have they begged their spouse to shoot them in the head because to suffer one more second in pain is just too much to bear?

People who have never really experienced a migraine cannot possibly imagine what an actual migraine is like.  If I catch one early enough and take my naratriptan, I may be able to remain at work...if it isn't too noisy and there aren't fluorescent lighting fixtures or other bright lights.  However, the medication makes me extremely tired, and often sheer exhaustion overtakes me.  I have had many people tell me "I have a migraine, but I am working through it," as if accusing me of malingering when I have to leave because of a migraine.  Believe me, if I could, I would love to save up my sick days in case I ever get the flu, or need surgery, or become injured.

Television doesn't help.  The commercials that show people having migraines, taking Imitrex and then participating in a kid's birthday party make migraines seem trivial and easily cured.  For me taking an abortive when I have a full blown migraine means the difference between crawling and stumbling to the bathroom to puke my brains out.  I'm certainly not even thinking about a party.

On a positive note, I think my caffeine fast has helped.  I only had three migraines in February...one because I forgot to take my preventatives.

To caffeinate or not to caffeinate

I am a caffeine junky.  Not coffee...although I would carry a jumbo travel mug of java with me when I worked at a summer camp...my drink of choice is tea, followed closely by Coca-Cola.  About 10 years ago my husband and I gave up soda in favor of healthier beverages.  Because Nutrasweet (aka aspartame) is a migraine trigger for me, diet soda is not an option.

When I first started seeing my neurologist, my husband asked of I should cutback on caffeine.  The doctor asked me if it helps or hurts, when I responded that it helps (when I feel a migraine coming on, I grab a Coke as soon as possible) he told me to consume as much as I want.

Fast forward 6 years...at my last neuro appointment I came with my travel mug filled with tea.  I was asking the doctor about possibly going off of my meds, and he gestured toward my mug and asked how much I drink daily.  I explained that I drink about two large hot teas daily...often supplemented by iced tea in the evening.  My doctor determined that some of my migraines may be triggered by daily caffeine withdrawal...so he suggested weaning off of caffeine.

Like any addict, I was nervous, defensive and generally unwillingly to even consider quitting...but if it could lessen my migraines, I supposed it was worth a try.

I left the doctor's office armed with prescriptions intended to ease my withdrawal symptoms. I decided to start weaning off the day after Thanksgiving.  It was rough; even with the medications...but I gradually cut back and was caffeine-free by Christmas.  As tough as it.was, it wasn't nearly as bad Now February is almost over, I have only had 2 migraines this month.

Let's hope saying it doesn't jinx it!

Songs for the Migraineur

I’ve Been Battling a Migraine (Tune: I’ve Been Working on the Railroad)

I’ve been battling a migraine, almost everyday!

I’ve been battling a migraine, why won’t it go away?

It hit me again this morning, I can’t get outta bed!

Came so quickly without warning…Oh! My throbbing head!

Migraine won’t you go, migraine won’t you go,

Migraine won’t you go away-ay-ay?

Migraine won’t you go, migraine won’t you go,

Migraine won’t you go away?

Hey, Doctor! (Tune: Oops I did it again!)

Looks like I’m here again

Lying in the ER, fighting the pain

Hey, Doctor!

You might think it’s a ploy

But it doesn't mean that I'm seeking drugs!

Oh! I’ve got such a migraine

I just don’t know what to do!

Hey, Doctor, Doctor!

Oops!...I did it again...

I puked on your shoe, you didn’t listen!

Hey, doctor, doctor

What!?! You think I’m a fake

That I just want meds?

I’m in serious pain!

 

Sunglasses Inside (Tune: Sunglasses at Night)

I wear my sunglasses inside

so I can

so I can

Deal with all of the fluorescent lights.

And I wear my sunglasses inside

so I can

so I can

Control the throbbing of my head.

I’ve got a migraine you see,

it’s got a hold on me.

It takes control of me! - I turn to you and say:

Switch off the light and pull down the shades

oh yeah.

I’ll close my eyes tight ‘till you pull down the shades

oh yeah

You better believe it!

Understand my plight and pull down the shades

oh yeah.

I wear my sunglasses inside…